We keep watching the ‘Reality shows’ on Television. We can’t help to watch those adorable kids performing in different arenas, displaying sky-high talents but, most of the time I personally feel sad. I realized about the expectations we put on our children. Over and over again the same theme keeps coming through from the contestants when they were asked about why they were there! The judges and other contestants would praise and encourage them, telling that their family would indeed be proud. The sense of needing to win and beat those around us typically starts early, with parents, teachers or coaches all praising the virtues of winning throughout childhood and adolescence.
Children are labelled as ‘bright’ or not– to say nothing of how a child’s true potential might be realized in different fields that lie beyond the subject categorized in school. While focusing on external marks, schools overlooks some intrinsic ends, such as - the joy of learning, a child’s instinctive embrace of certain disciplines over others, the satisfaction that comes from solving puzzles or to complete tough assignment, learning how to think differently or the excitement of challenges they met, where we usually fail to give rewards. A system dominated by rankings and grades can’t help but make ‘failure’ both highly visible and stigmatized, inducing a burden on pupils’ self-esteem.
Competition is the condition of striving to gain or to establish a sense of superiority. At the age of 6 / 7, the child starts to learn organizing skills, such as the ability to resolve disputes and work towards collective goals. A ‘Constant Learning’ mindset helps him for an ongoing process of personal growth, mastery over outcomes; helps in creating resilience & abilities at adapting when things don’t go to plan. Competition gives excitement, because learning happens in its way and a competitive environment gives opportunity to develop skills, & pushes one to give
his/her ‘best’. Competition also fosters cooperation - aids the ability to work with others to reach common goals. Cooperation & competition are two complementary forms of interactions and are assumed to have a significant impact on human’s social behavior.
Lack of competence sometimes no longer serves in demonstrating the child’s natural potential. They lose the motivation to continue and cannot focus where they could thrive. Competition inspires us to think ‘outside of the box’. One has to keep in mind that the competition shouldn‘t pressurize the Child’s psyche. With appropriate instruction, & right guidance it helps encourage the Child to reflect on their behavior, & develop emotional intelligence accordingly. Control & Competence are correlated, when one feels in control of their emotions, the preference to work hard and take on new challenges to learn increases, helps in testing the peers which improves their creativity & problem solving skills.
Parents sometimes squeeze the Child’s potential beyond their power to fulfil their incomplete dreams in the name of “Success’ by their child. They forget individual’s goals are always independent & each one has the desire to be positively distinct from others. Competitive experiences can be threatening when a child’s threat mode is activated; it triggers survival emotions like fear & anger. Competition becomes ‘Ego’ deflating too because the success of one Child or team causes the failure of another. Choose competitions that focus on self- reflection & mastery, rather winning, expert assistance rather on instruction, & inquisition rather than shallow mind.
Article by
Tumpa Datta Gupta
Educator- Founder
Green Wings Pre-School Educational Network.
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